Jan 5, 2010

Don't Call Me Baby - Madison Avenue

I don't know why..but everytime this song comes on air..it takes me back. Back in the days when I have NO IDEA where I found the energy to live the way I used to!

Sometimes I miss the old days...all the partying and the lifestyle that came with it. But sometimes when I think back of what I used to do...I say to myself..

"How in the HELL did I ever find the courage to embarrass myself like that in public????"

Because (no puns intended) today, when I go out to HRC or someplace of the sort and see someone acting very much similar to how I used to act in these kind of places..I feel embarrassed for her. Having all eyes on you, dancing without a care in the world, dressing and acting the way they do..I think you get what I mean..how does she do it? What is going through her mind?

Damn! I am OLD! and judgemental. I mean..am not judging that girl I saw..but judging my own self.

So I came to a conclusion..Back in the day, I had no one nor a reputation to risk. I was a nobody and was either single or with someone who's in the same boat as I am. In a way, although I don't totally agree with my previous actions and activities, I have to admire my self confidence. To dress and act the way I did....

Today, as a wife and soon a mother, I am careful with what I wear, say or do. I have my husband's reputation to think of..my status as someone's wife. In a way, I think I have lost most of that self-confidence I used to have (being 16kgs more that I used to be doesn't help either)..But I have also discovered that I am more content with my life. I don't feel lost as I so often felt before. I am at peace with myself.

I may not be able to fit into most of the stuffs I have in my closet ever again (which also means a NEW WARDROBE???!!?!?)
I may not be the heart of the party anymore
I may not be that girl dancing on the table ever again

But I am happy....

I have a husband who accepted who I was and still loves me for who I am...
And soon..a child who will love me no matter what..

Nothing beats that....


  1. i still think that the old sasha is somewhere inside you, only that now its new and improved!But its fun to watch u dance back in the days, u know that!

    by the way, aku dah gi shopping kat twins baby kat BU. ada la terbeli moses la, terbeli baju2 (lagi) la. hehe thanks for the recommendation!

  2. dancing on the table??

    hhahahahahhaha. ada video??

    tapi babe, aku akan cherish moment2 rockstar aku. teeeeeeheeeeeee

  3. hahah..azie..the personality is still there.but maybe not as daring as i used to be!*wink*

    ala beb..kitorg yang dah cukup segala barang pun ter-eksiden beli romper 'i love daddy' and 'i love mommy'..tu nasib baik sweater with a cow hood was too big.kalo tak..itu pun dibeli!!hahahah!

    anies..ada!gambar pun ada!hahahahaha..tapi bukan untuk tontonan umum. I will always remember those crazy days (and have ppl to remind me of them too!) but to re-live it??oh tidak!



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