May 22, 2009

cross-stitch update

As you all are aware (that is IF you have been following my blog la) I am currently in the midst of doing cross-stitch as part of my activities during my confinement. It may strike as a surprise to you (if you know me in person) that I am a person who actually do cross-stitch. I first started when I was in secondary school, as part of my Home Economics project (Ekonomi Rumah Tangga laa tu!). My mom was actually the person who was active in doing cross-stitch (now she can't see so well, so cross-stitch is kinda bad for her eyes). I'd normally be the person who finishes up her half-finished patterns..

This is the pattern that I am currently following. And it is supposed to look like this following pic....

And currently (a week ago actually, I have made more progress since) it's looking like this..Heheheh..not bad right??It gave me a sense of motivation when I started to see the fence forming. Now I have a few more speckles of roses forming too..

OMG..I am SOOOOO housewife-ish now!hahah! Sorry guys...having limited access internet at home (damn celcom 3G! I can't get any coverage at my place..!) means I have limited resources to the 'gossip' world. I am confined to my mama'a wisdom and Astro's Macam-Macam Ada..which is soooooo academic!heheh! Well, I am in confinement...

Uh-oh..damn battery is running I'll publish this first la..(Starbucks don't have enough powerpoint..sob sob!)

*next project...Quilting????huahuahua!*

May 15, 2009

The doting Housewife episodes?

I am back in my own home now. 15 days left of my confinement although dah banyak pantang yang aku langgar 'sikit-sikit'..:P

My mom is with me at home. Good for my sanity..altho lately I have been feeling like slipping away from the world. I just want to stay at home which if I am alone is not a good idea..Alhamdulillah mama teman..So since I am able to move about normally nowadays, she has been 'training' me to be a housewife. Teaching me the proper ways of doing things and keeping the house clean.

She also came up with the idea that IF one day I do become a fulltime housewife, to make blogging a career. She keeps on saying that I am able to write, so why not make it into something productive. She suggested I share my experiences, speak out about things, and perhaps share some of the tips or recipes she's been teaching me..

I'm flattered that my mama complimented me on my literary (spelling?) skills. In fact I'm surprised that she even knows that I write (damn! I hope she's never read any of my old journals..:P) And also the fact that she seems to have faith that I might become the next Martha Stewart and Oprah combined..:P As if I can ever get that big..but no harm in dreaming kan?

But IF i ever do take up the would be pretty interesting..would prolly start a different blogsite for it..

I have been a doting housewife lately..since there is nothing else for me to do since suami joined the corporate world. Plus the house has been in desperate need for some good cleaning and dusting..And yes ppl..I have been doing some cross stitching which I hope to finish before I start work again in June. Although I have been sleeping more than I am cleaning or cooking, at least the house now is 90% dust free (suami is my dust indicator since he is allergic to it..he's been sneezing a lot lesser now) and suami comes home to home-cooked dinner everyday (eventho aku ngelat sikit since the cooking was done by mama dearest..:P! Hey..I am a housewife in training ok!)..It's been nice staying at home..

BUT..there are moments in the days when it's not such a good idea to be home. I have recently almost always chose to retreat at home than going out..not good..There are days when I feel so depressed, sad and fact I kinda notice that I don't feel so cheerful anymore and my eyes are like automatic tear factory..I long to feel normal again....

No choice but to keep myself busy..even if it means doing the cross-stitch..Next on the list, my own Look Book (desperately need a new wardrobe and new look) and maybe finish sorting out my wedding pics which are sooooo long overdue..I also plan to make my own recipe book - Scrap book style..Ideas for my new blog maybe??

Martha Stewart and Oprah better watch out coz here comes the Superstar Housewife! :P

*more like a mood swing Superstar...*

May 7, 2009

Blogging Babes and Roda Impian

Semalam post emo..harini post ceria..


hihi!Skang semua dah ada ada blog..tinggal Erni sahaja untuk diracun...

Tapikan Sopi..aku rasa kau kene tukar tajuk blog kau jadi 'Drama Queen' laa..'Daydreamer' ok gak..mebbe blog kedua kamu??

Aku happy...tapi aku rindu kamu semua...

BTW..semalam aku tgk Elsa kat Roda Impian..Cha..siot laa kau..menghancurkan Impian orang lain..abi semua kau bolot! Siap menari-nari kecil bile si Gogi tu muflis!!!hahahahah! Sungguh kejam kamu ini...

Lagi rindu kamu semua...

Tunggu kau je Beeps! Pastu berlanjik beramai-ramai...teringat mase celebrate birthday aku kat Chilli's dulu *Puan Sopi..mane gambor birthday aku tu???* Ko balik kite lepak cam dulu k?

*sigh* Kenape perlu membesar? Kalo semua still kat uni mesti esok ponteng kelas semata-mata nak melepak...Ada finals pun aku korbankan!

Masihkan korang ingat???????
Aku still ada paper tapi korang dgn tanpa rasa ehsan telah plan pegi clubbing sampai aku termakan racun mangikut kamu??Free aku extend satu sem..hahaha!tapi berbaloi...pegi clubbing bukan menari...tapi 'menonton' video dlm phone Zurina!!!hahahahahahahah!! And Puan S tetibe mengaku "I no English"..*sbb tu aku suh kau tukar blog kau jadi Drama Queen :P*

You girls never fail to brighten up my life...Here's to our Friendship...May it lasts Forever!!


May 6, 2009

Masih Dalam Pantang

The worst part of my whole being in confinement with nothing to do and no one to talk to...all that's left is just your thoughts of everything if the TV haven't caused me to doze off yet..

Suami knows I'm bored out of my head..there are days that I just cry my heart out..because when I'm bored I think...and when I think I remember..and when I remember I feel that it's my fault and it shouldn't be this way..and when my thoughts go there..I cry...

I don't know why..but sometimes I feel that the last 9 months never happened...that it was all some kind of illusion..9 months of my life was just a dream. The reality now is just the pain and scars from the labor...thinking will i ever feel normal again..Will I ever be able to walk properly again without feeling the pain...

Other women in confinement would be having the best days of their life...nursing the little one..getting people wait on you day and husband coming home at the end of the day eager to see the little one. Whatever pain she went through labor is forgotten by just looking at the face..

To me it's torture...although I don't remember what he looks like..I remember how he felt in my arms before sending him away. There is nothing to occupy my time in the day when suami is at work. And when he gets home..seeing him makes me feel so relieved for a while..then it sinks in that he is going through this too..Even worse coz suami remembers more..bathing and putting arwah to his final resting. No father should bury their child.....but he did...and it saddens me so much coz it should've been the happiest moment in his our life..

And i don't know why but there is just too much advertisement on TV that manipulates the viewers with doubt..babies are cute...but it just reminds me of what I have lost.

Sometimes I get scared..I know why god is testing me in such a way..Maybe I deserve it. Like I said give me a chance to try all over again. But I'm scared..will I ever be a mother?Will I ever get that chance?

Not one of my good days today..was denied to be left alone in my own apartment. Scared that something might happen to me. But being in a house with people doesn't mean you don't feel like you're alone. Sometimes it feels much worse...They just don't get it...I need my privacy...I'm in confinement...I'm not crippled..

Suami felt bad not being able to give me what I want. I feel bad coz he felt that way..I can take this pain..all of it..on my own...I'm used to it. But I can't stand it when someone else, especially someone I love have to bear it with me...I want to make it go away for him..just let me handle it..I'm strong enough..I will get through this.Everybody said so...But please not him..I don't want to see him sad...

Siapa kata berpantang best? The only good thing that's coming out of this is the fact that I'm losing so much weight so fast....

*I have better is just not one of it...*


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