Train of thoughts..

I always seem to find myself dwelling in my past memories which I will cringe and my next thought is.."What the hell was I thinking?" I always thought what if things were different? Would I've been a different person? If yes, would I be better or worse than I am now?

In a way, I hope my daughter would never have to go through what I had to. But there were parts of my experience that had help build my character and made me a wiser and stronger person that I am today. That came because I wasn't blessed with money or the luxuries in life. But I wasn't denied the basic needs either.

Where I am today, and what I can become in the future, insya-allah I would be able to afford to give and provide my child with all those 'material' stuffs. But should I? To what extend should I limit my providing her? I would love to have her 'earn' what she wants from me..but what is the limit? When will it be too much?

I see kids these days and I am sometimes appalled at what they have. A handphone at the age of 6?? Don't even start on those PSPs and iPads or even laptops! Hell..I had my first phone when I was in Uni..laptop? About 2-3years ago! Maybe its the day and age where technology is a necessity rather than a luxury, but seriously..a handphone at 6 years old can't seem right can it?

I think when I was 6, I would've been happy if my parents were to get me a bicycle or a set of cooking toys or maybe a barbie doll! But then again, those days, handphones were those huge things that looked like briefcases carried by contractors who went to the sites!

So how do we gauge ourselves as the modern day parents? Moving to Perlis would probably mean a different exposure to my child. I hope she'll play outside more rather than plonk herself in front of the telly..I hope she'll read like I used to - my mom would buy me 1 enid blyton book a week when I was a kid, sadly I've lost my entire enid blyton collection due to the amount of moving we did when we were younger. I hope she'll be kind to people and people to her..I hope for the best for her, nothing less.

But what is the best? I didn't get the best neither did I get the worst but I had happiness. Maybe hoping for happiness would be better that hoping for the best? What do you think?

Whatever it is, I hope my child will live a better life than I did and become a better person than I am..I think that's much better eh?
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