Oct 2, 2009

How to know if the relationship is going to last or not?

I had a weird dream last night. I dreamt of this guy who was born from a flower, looking soooo much like Adrian Grenier and was my boyfriend (in another life of course!) It was a nice dream until he asked me to play Star War's light saber with him..dreams don't make sense..I know.

My point here is that, during the part when he was holding me and whispered to me that he will always take care of me, it felt sooo..sigh..

I've had A LOT of relationships with men of different character and background...serious, non-serious, long term, short term, a friend, a stranger...you name it, been there, done that! But I'm stressing here that it was in the past. I'm just mentioning it now because I think through my experience, I've been able to come up with a theory on whether the relationship will last or not.

The first week of a new relationship is always the best. The feeling you get when he texts you or calls you, that first time he holds your hand, the first date, the conversations..everything la! You can't help but smile all the time and nothing could go wrong! You get soooo excited when you're about to see him and you miss him all the time.

I 've had soooo many of this feeling that got shot down. So I came up with my own theories of my own so that I won't get my hopes up high...So here are just a few of them that I'd like to share. It might not apply to everyone because this is entirely through my own personal observation. And also note that this observation only apply to one side of the story. What the partner feels about the 'relationship' is not part of my observation ok?

You know it's just a fling when...
After 2 weeks, you or him start to get bored. No more excitement, you start to see his flaws..he starts calling you lesser and always has an excuse when you ask to meet up. Or maybe you're the one who is not interested to see him anymore. You start complaining about him to your girlfriends, you dread going out with him..the fireworks are just not there anymore.

Flings are easy to get out off..but the after-fling could get weird. Especially if you hang out with the same group of friends. Bumping into each other after the fling could get awkward..but not nasty. But there are some flings that ends well, where you end up as good friends. Hey..it was just not meant to be.

You know this is not serious when...
You pass the 2 weeks mark. You're still in cloud 9 even after a month. But come the second month..things starts to get boring. You start to fight about little things..the same symptoms like I mentioned in the fling category starts to surface. Everything that he does just annoys you to the max!! Come the 3rd month..you just can't stand him anymore!

The end of this relationship could sometimes get ugly cause on his side of the story, he probably felt that the relationship could go somewhere. Guys that believed in the relationship would probably put in an effort to actually try make it work. But nothing he does could re-ignite the feelings. It was just time to go.

Some guys could still be friends, good friends too after this. Hey, you spent 3 months together, you probably learnt quite a lot about each other to be a good friend after that. Its long enough to love him but not enough to be 'in love' with him.

Or he's probably someone you just NEVER want to see again. :P

You know that this MIGHT mean something when...
Even after 3 months you still enjoy each other's company. You still love spending time with each other and every new discovery about him is funny or amusing. You'd probably have the occasional fights because things start to get deeper.  It could be about an ex or something that makes you feel jealous. Yes..you start to feel jealous.

In the end, you end up being each other's habit. Because it is a known fact that if you do something for 3 months straight, it becomes a habit. So when you get to this point, I honestly have lost all my theories about relationships. Most of my relationship that lasts longer than 3 months would prolong to over a year or maybe longer. But it's safe to say that I sincerely felt something for the guys that I dated for longer than a year. Why it didn't last could be contributed by a lot of different factors.

The end of this relationship is always nasty! Break-up is never easy and is always followed by drama(s). Friends would be the people who gets stuck in between and it could get ugly not only to the couple, but sometimes with the people around them. This is because you have been with each other for soo long..your friends becomes his friends too, and same goes with his friends. Things could get VERY complicated.

It's actually kinda sad that I can't seem to have a friendship with the guys I dated for longer than a year. The feeling of not being able to be friends with each other is sometimes not necessarily mutual, but so far, it just don't seem to be possible for us to be JUST friends.

You know this means FOREVER when...
Even after almost 2 years of being married to each other, you love to see him when he's fast asleep. You miss him when he gets home from work late or has to go outstation..You feel something is missing when he is not around. You love him even more even if he has lost his muscular physique..

You are still so in love with him and you can't imagine life without him..even after all these years..

Heyyy...mestilah puji suami!!:P But married life theory?? I'm probably not ready to come up with any. But a few pointers I received for the elders...
3 things that we should live by. No one said being married was an easy thing and it requires a lot of hard work. But I think both suami and I are doing pretty well...

And uh-oh..NEVER keep any secrets from your husband..no matter how ugly it is. Because if he truly loves you, he would understand and still love you anyway. Plus..it's uglier if he finds out later on from someone else or when he gets caught off guard...

hehe..hope my entry this time is useful..

*I love you Suami...*


  1. walaupun dia pegi konsert nak balik awal? hehehehe

  2. sayang tetap sayang!janji aku dah lepas lompat2 dengan kau!!hahahah!

  3. betul tu....most of married woman wud say the same thing but then...adakah mereka berfikiran benda yg sama?

    ko pasti kah bila ko takde diorang rindu??? or biler diorang kata diorang rindu...sebenarnya diorang rindu isteri kemas umah, basuh baju, 'make out'....hahahahah

    n bila kita plak "lost our muscular physique" diorang makin cinta??

    apa pun terpulang pada sang suami

  4. hahah!sebab tu aku kata ini observation dari perspektif aku je zu..hehe!

    *berani laa suami tak rindu dan tak sayang bila aku dah tak solid mcm dulu!..sebenarnya mmg dah tak solid mcm dulu pun..tapi suami makin suka katanya!hahahahaha!*

    cik zu!aku tak bleh masuk blog kau..why?

  5. takleh masuk sbb aku dah private kan...sbb tiba2 jadi glemer kat opis. tak pernah2 aku bgtau diorang...bak sini email..

  6. hahahah!blogger tegar dah kau skarang!hahah..


    sila add..thank you!



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