The Walk Theory

I've been meaning to write this for a while now but never gotten around to doing it.

The Walk Theory.

I have this theory where how a man walks plays a MAJOR role in their hotness level. I've tried this theory myself and gotten my girlfriends' opinion on it and suffice to say, they agreed.

It's like this..picture a guy who you think is pretty hot. Okay, I'll give you some visual aid. Meet Adam..(if you don't know Adam..girl, you've got some major catching up to do! heheh!)

Adam Levine - Voted Hottest Male 2013 (source: Google)

With a guy this hot, you're bound to notice him from a mile away! hehehe... So okay, you see him and you start to get all excited..giggling like a little schoolgirl with your girlfriends and then he starts to walk (not necessarily towards you tho..hehe..got your imaginations running wild?)

And he walks....

waddle waddle waddle (source: Google)

Like a duck........

I'm sure his hotness level drops faster than you can say duck. Kind of a killjoy innit? 

There are many ways in how a man walks..and waddling is not one of the sexy ones. Its kinda hard to describe how a man's walk is sexy. A catwalk model can be used as an example, but then, if he walks like that in real life, you might think he's a tad bit too pretentious. Not sexy.

A walk so sexy that the little boy starts to cry..LOL! (source: google)

There's a certain kind of stride, the precision and confidence in his steps, the coolness in his movement that when he walks, the whole room feels his presence..his aura..That, to me, is what I call a sexy walk.

A man can be just average looking, but with a sexy walk..he just might make it to the 'HOT' list. Sad to say, not many makes it to the sexy walk list. Many makes it to the good looking list, but fails miserably when he starts walking. Some waddles like a duck, some walks like they're kicking  something stuck at the bottom of their feet, some bounces like there's a spring at their heels, too fast, too slow, slouches..the list just goes on..

So go ahead. When you're having one of your people watching sessions, give my theory a shot. See how the way they walk can affect their hotness level.

Have fun!

Hey it's Friday Night!

Image source: Google

It's a Friday. I'm swamped with work. I have a whole stack of submissions that I have to compile and analyze. The mere sight or even thought of it right now makes me want to vomit. I wish I had an intern to do this crap but sadly..that is not my reality.

So I've got my playlist plugged into my ears and Miley Cyrus belts out "We Can't Stop". And instead of trying to figure out how to compile that stack of complaints submitted, I listened to what Miley had to say.

I miss dancing. And 10 years ago tonight, would've been an almost sure dancing night for me. As a matter of fact, it would've probably been the third (out of 4) night for the week that I'd go out dancing. :P

I think a few years ago before the hijab and before the kids came, some time after my wedding, I did try to go out dancing with friends and suami. Hit the dance floor like I naturally would but I felt this restrain...this self-conscious feeling...very uncomfortable. Ended up sitting at the table and just people watch for the rest of the night.

Now the only sort of dancing I do is the weird jiggle and wiggle I do with my babies to the tunes they play on Ceebeebies or NickJr. Sometimes witnessed by the public when we're out in the mall and CKD breaks into a tune but mostly confined in the privacy of our living room. As much as I get that warm and fuzzy feeling and hear the infectious laughter of the girls, it's not that adrenaline rush I used to get from busting out my moves (:P!) back in the days.

I miss it..but I don't miss it. I mean, I miss the adrenaline rush...I just don't miss the scene. the crowd, the sweaty people, the cigarette smoke... but I still love the loud music playing in the room tho.

Oh well..I think I should just pump up the nursery rhymes and stick to our living room jiggle and wiggle with the girls tonight. Coz hey..it's Friday night!

Have a great weekend peeps!

If the shoe fits

I did you wrong my heart went out to play
But in the game I lost you
What a price to pay, hey I'm crying

Ooh, baby baby
Ooh, baby baby

Mistakes, I know I've made a few
But I'm only human
You've made mistakes too, I'm crying

Ooh, baby baby
Ooh, baby baby

I'm just about at the end of my rope
But I can't stop trying I can't give up hope
'Cause I feel that one day, I'll hold you near
Whisper, I still love you
Until that day is here, I'm crying

Ooh, baby baby
Ooh, baby baby
Ooh, baby baby
Ooh, baby baby, ooh

Smokey Robinson - Ooo Baby Baby

Been reminiscing my past a lot lately. It's annoying. This nagging feeling and voice in my head. And then suddenly this song started playing in my mp3 and it kinda struck home. No..it's not to suami that I did wrong..nothing like that. More of to my past stories.. and no..I'm not trying to get the past back into my life either..

hahaha..this song is so wrong :P 

But I need to get this out. This constant nagging in my head.

You know how you seem to block out the bad things that happened in your past? Where you only remember the good times? Your old flame..how it felt the first time you held hands, the long distance phone calls just so you could hear each other's voices (it was really hard and expensive back then!), the excitement of seeing him during the early stages of the relationship..those kind of things..

Well its kinda bothering me. Coz it's in the past..and its kind of pointless to remember. Kinda depressing too..(coz I start to remember on how skinny I used to be back then as well :P)

Then I come across some 'evidence' on how nasty the relationship ended..how big of a jerk I was..how selfish..

And I feel guilty.

This is not my first apology to my exes that I have done. But I haven't made one for this particular person (I think..) Not going to name names here since both of us are happily married with kids now..but if the shoe fits..this is for you..I think this song is the biggest hint I can give..

"Build Me Up Buttercup"

Why do you build me up (build me up) Buttercup, baby
Just to let me down (let me down) and mess me around
And then worst of all (worst of all) you never call, baby
When you say you will (say you will) but I love you still
I need you (I need you) more than anyone, darlin'
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (build me up) Buttercup, don't break my heart

"I'll be over at ten", you told me time and again
But you're late, I wait around and then (bah-dah-dah)
I went to the door, I can't take any more
It's not you, you let me down again

(Hey, hey, hey!) Baby, baby, try to find
(Hey, hey, hey!) A little time and I'll make you mine
(Hey, hey, hey!) I'll be home
I'll be beside the phone waiting for you
Ooo-oo-ooo, ooo-oo-ooo

Why do you build me up (build me up) Buttercup, baby
Just to let me down (let me down) and mess me around
And then worst of all (worst of all) you never call, baby
When you say you will (say you will) but I love you still
I need you (I need you) more than anyone, darlin'
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (build me up) Buttercup, don't break my heart

You were my toy but I could be the boy you adore
If you'd just let me know (bah-dah-dah)
Although you're untrue, I'm attracted to you all the more
Why do I need you so

(Hey, hey, hey!) Baby, baby, try to find
(Hey, hey, hey!) A little time and I'll make you mine
(Hey, hey, hey!) I'll be home
I'll be beside the phone waiting for you
Ooo-oo-ooo, ooo-oo-ooo

Why do you build me up (build me up) Buttercup, baby
Just to let me down (let me down) and mess me around
And then worst of all (worst of all) you never call, baby
When you say you will (say you will) but I love you still
I need you (I need you) more than anyone, darlin'
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (build me up) Buttercup, don't break my heart

I-I-I need you-oo-oo more than anyone, baby
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (build me up) Buttercup, don't break my heart

I'm sorry..I truly am..

For what I put you through. For giving you hope when it didn't seem like it was going to last. For not being fair when I ended things with us. For letting my heart go out and play and not come home..

Since we are at our separate ways..happy in our own paths now..I wish all the happiness for you and your family. I want to thank you for all that you did for me when we were together. You were one of the sweetest guy I've ever been with and your wife is lucky to have you in her life. I hope that she will cherish you as you deserve to be cherished..and I'm sure you are a great husband to her like the man you are..

Thank you for the memories..thank you for being one of the good memories in my past (since the bad memories is actually my own doing and I somehow managed to block them out..) I hope I did not cause too much damage on the great person that you are..and again..please accept my sincerest apologies..I know we've moved on and actually able to be civil and friendly with each other now..and for that I truly appreciate it.

Sorry to share this in the www but I kinda need to do this..no one seems appropriate enough for me to talk to about it..talking to you would probably be asking for trouble..but I need to get it out..to let it out. To let go and clear my conscience..

So there. 

the tough gets going...

I had a meltdown last week. Life got too out of my capability and sanity..lack of sleep and not 100% in the health department either. Both girls was unwell for like the longest time (on-off fever for 2 weeks, runny nose, cough..), CKD was even admitted for 4 days. Had to take off from work where the scene was no better..had like a million things to do and deadlines closing in. The same with my postgrad program with the new semester starting..

And then the judgemental person.

That was the final straw. What's worst is I couldn't do anything about the person. Nothing I could say..nothing I could do that wouldn't lead to a disastrous ending.

So I decided to disconnect. From the social medias..facebook, instagram, whatsapp groups.. only the trusty twitter was spared..to rant..which I didn't really do either.

The toilet became the escape to bawl my eyes out..and let my heartache pour. And even then it was done in silent sobs.

Wow. Breathe.

No solutions was found. The tough just got going like the saying:

"When the going gets tough, the tough gets going" 

Wise words.

Funny. I had so many things I thought I wanted to put down..but now that I have the chance my mind is a total blank. Seriously wondering what's going on with me now.

Anyway..as I was saying..the tough got going. The girls got better..Alhamdulillah for that. Work at the office suddenly got easier to finish..and found a potential supervisor for my research project altho I might miss the deadline to submit my title this semester.

I'm feeling a lot better although judgement and unwarranted criticism are still coming in from the same source. I've lost my appetite tho that could be a good thing..:P

I'm OK. Not 100% optimistic but not hopeless either.

Still not 100% connected to my social medias yet. It's not logged on all the time on my phone like it used to be, but I go in time and time again mostly to check on things about my postgrad course. Postings on them seems to depress me..I can't explain. Maybe its just me..over thinking and over analyzing things like I always do.

This is a milestone in my life. I know it is. Coz I feel like I'm changing. I hope for the better.

I'll be back folks. With less depressing stories hopefully and more sunshines and rainbows and magic and little ponies..(sorry..too much of My Little Pony courtesy of CKD). Til then..

The tough gets going people. Just carry on even if its by dragging your feet..coz soon you'll be running again..insya allah..

I survived

Was going through my old blog post from 2009 (here). Just wanted to say (if its not obvious enough already)..I survived..alhamdulillah..

But not a day goes by that I don't imagine what it would be like if he was here.

Al-fatihah my dear son. I miss you.

Sunshine after the rain

It has been a hectic week.

Suami has an event in Perlis and is there for 10 days since last Friday. And during that, things at home are pretty hectic especially in the morning. My mom has to take up another extra role as my designated driver to and from the LRT station on top of sending and picking up CKD from school. Forever greatful for her.

There has been some emotional turmoil as well (not including the emotional turmoil because suami is not around). Some troubles from my family and the passing of suami's favorite aunt.

Al-fatihah mak chak..semoga ditempatkan dikalangan orang-orang yang beriman..

I'm never good at dealing with death. I don't know how to react or maybe I just block it out of my mind. So I spent the day distracting myself with work and other things that I've put on hold (like registering to be a graduate member of BEM!)

And the trouble(s) from this family of mine..sigh..

God, please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to be brave enough to change the things I can and to have enough wisdom to know the difference..

It rained cats and dogs that day. As heavy as my heart was crying.

But the sun shone so brightly the next morning as I was getting to work. I have never seen the sun shining so brightly in the city like that..

Source: google

And just as bright as the sunshine, there just might be some good news for me - career wise. Which I guess will only be disclosed when its confirmed. But just the thought of it brought sunshine to my heart and my self-esteem..

Insyaa allah..

May the sun shine brightly in your hearts as well..Happy Weekend!

Tag 2013

For rawkstar mommy..

1. In baseball each player gets a “walk up song” that plays on his way up to the plate. What song would you pick?

Wake Me Up Before You Go Go - WHAM! Hahaha! So old school! I blame my Glee addiction :P

2. What’s the best thing that happened to you last weekend?

Went shopping at H&M with my sister and our girls. Totally went nuts over the kids clothes..But it wasn't entirely because of shopping..more of the bonding with my sis and  CKD with her kakak min. Priceless.

3. If you could have a starring role in any film already made, which movie would you pick?

Any of Angelina Jolie's action movies..but as one of the SATC girls would be just as great! Those SHOESSSS!!!!

4. What actor/actress would you have play you in a movie of your life?

Hmmm...can't think of any now. Drew Barrymore?

5. What is your favorite quote?

"I told you so!" :P

6. What was your first concert?

Peterpan from Indonesia. Fun and scary at the same time..the band was awesome. The crowd? not so much.

7. What Internet website do you visit the most?

Gmail..heh!

8. Which of Snow White’s 7 dwarfs describes you the best and why?

Happy, Doc, Bashful, Dopey, Grumpy, Sneezy and Sleepy...hmm...lately I'm such a mom I guess I'll go for Doc.

9. If you were on death row, what would your last meal be?

Last meal..aiyo..rice?hahahahahahah!

10. What is the background of your computer?

Company logo..yawnn! I used to put CKD's pic on the background of my personal laptop, but I found that it tends to distract me by making me miss my babies so I have changed it to the English countryside because I wanna go there one day.

Everybody's Free (to wear Sunscreen)

Today I drove to work for the first time since I started. Suami was still in JB and it would've taken too much effort to find alternative ways to get myself to the LRT station. So I drove.

Traffic was not so bad for a Monday morning. Last week was even better because of the school holidays, but yeah..its not last week today isn't it?

The thing I miss the most was listening to the morning radio show while driving to work. And listened I did. Found out a few days ago that Lil'Kev was back on air with Red.fm together with JJ for the morning show. So I got to listen in. They were talking about the pranks they used to pull and how they don't do pranks anymore coz it just gets them into trouble. Glad these guys are not on the prank call bandwagon..I hate those prank calls the radio people do.

One point to note, I love the songs these guys choose to air..old school stuffs. But one song or rather speech they aired in particular was 'Everybody's Free (to Wear Sunscreen) by Baz Lurhmann. A song with a speech that I'm gonna share here and let it speak for itself..a good reminder..

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '99,

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis or reliable then my own meandering experience.  I will dispense this advice....now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind, you won't understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded, but trust me in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous 
you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future, or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind: the kind that blindsides you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts; don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy.  Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind.  The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive; forget the insults. (if you succeed in doing this, tell me how).

Keep your old love letters; throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life.  The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives; some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of Calcium.  Be kind to your knees -- you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't.  Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't.  Maybe you'll divorce at 40; maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.

Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either.  Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body: use it every way you can.  Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it; it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance...even if you have no where to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions (even if you don't follow them).

Do not read beauty magazines; they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents; you never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings: they're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but what a precious few should hold on.  Work hard to bridge the gaps and geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.

Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old; and when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you.  Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse, but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you are 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.  Advice is a form of nostalgia; dispensing it is a way of wishing the past from the disposal--wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen. 

On that note, I just bought myself a new book (realized that Times Bookstore accepts the book vouchers :P) Dear Me, more letters to my 16 year old self) Haven't read it yet so I can't review it.

Dear Me. More Letters To My 16 year old Self

Apparently, this is the 2nd version. The first version seems to have more big names. Will hunt for it soon.

Dear Me. Letters To My 16 year old Self

Seem to get attracted to 'advices' from the future for the past..maybe I'm reflecting on my 'colorful' past..many things that I would've done differently. Maybe I should write my own Dear Me letter and pass them on to my daughters..

Happy Monday guys!

Burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear

Just a little something I'd like to share with everyone. Life is definitely full of challenges and trials and none of us is an exception. But this is something that can serve as both a dua (prayer) and a reminder for us.

Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:286
Source

Which bears the following meaning:

Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of ] what [evil] it has earned. "Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people."

So, have patience everybody and remember that you will not be challenged beyond your capacity..You are strong enough to endure this..insyaa Allah.

Take care!