And then the judgemental person.
That was the final straw. What's worst is I couldn't do anything about the person. Nothing I could say..nothing I could do that wouldn't lead to a disastrous ending.
So I decided to disconnect. From the social medias..facebook, instagram, whatsapp groups.. only the trusty twitter was spared..to rant..which I didn't really do either.
The toilet became the escape to bawl my eyes out..and let my heartache pour. And even then it was done in silent sobs.
No solutions was found. The tough just got going like the saying:
"When the going gets tough, the tough gets going"
Funny. I had so many things I thought I wanted to put down..but now that I have the chance my mind is a total blank. Seriously wondering what's going on with me now.
Anyway..as I was saying..the tough got going. The girls got better..Alhamdulillah for that. Work at the office suddenly got easier to finish..and found a potential supervisor for my research project altho I might miss the deadline to submit my title this semester.
I'm feeling a lot better although judgement and unwarranted criticism are still coming in from the same source. I've lost my appetite tho that could be a good thing..:P
I'm OK. Not 100% optimistic but not hopeless either.
Still not 100% connected to my social medias yet. It's not logged on all the time on my phone like it used to be, but I go in time and time again mostly to check on things about my postgrad course. Postings on them seems to depress me..I can't explain. Maybe its just me..over thinking and over analyzing things like I always do.
This is a milestone in my life. I know it is. Coz I feel like I'm changing. I hope for the better.
I'll be back folks. With less depressing stories hopefully and more sunshines and rainbows and magic and little ponies..(sorry..too much of My Little Pony courtesy of CKD). Til then..
The tough gets going people. Just carry on even if its by dragging your feet..coz soon you'll be running again..insya allah..