A Rockin' Good Time!

Motherhood is Not Easy, But it Has its Rewards

So I was going through my regular blog reading and Sarah from welcome to the gOOd life wrote something that hit home, about how frustrating it is to be a mom, especially being a SAHM with 2 (very cute by the way) little girls.

Most of the blogs that I follow (my crafty inspiration list) are of SAHM who has mad sewing and crafty skills and each has 2-5 kids. Honestly..I can't imagine having 5 kids. I'd probably go mad or probably die along the process of raising the kids! yes, no doubt CKD is cute and all..but there are times when I wish I could have my old single life back. What I miss the most is sleep! Undisturbed 8 hours of sleep! (a little longer would be nice too! my record is 20hours..:P)

Does that make me a bad mom?

I guess I don't want to dwell so much on the matter. It's just really good to know that I'm not the only one who feels like we need a break every now and then.

But on a contradicting note..with my TKC friends (who texts non-stop on our BBM group chat) are either just had a baby or is expecting one really soon..I kinda miss being pregnant!hahah! But Nenn said (the only doctor in the group chat - who I think should start charging us for all the medical consultations that she is giving through the chats!hahah!) being pregnant for 2 years in a row (which what happened to me) is not good and can cause the mother to be anaemic and even with vitamins, would be very hard to increase our Hb count.

Yeay! Now I have a new excuse to blame my lazy-bum self! LOL! I can imagine seeing my mom rolling her eyes at me when I tell her this! :P

Well people..Motherhood IS HARD! And as much as we say we enjoy being a mom and how rewarding it is to see our children grow up, etc etc etc..there are moments when it's soooo hard and could really push our stress level off the roof! There are moments when we wish we could just up and leave!

But hey..reality is reality. You can't just leave everything behind and go. What keeps me going now is my mama actually. If I feel being a mom (for only a few hours of the day since I'm at work from 8am-5pm) is hard, then what I should do (and is doing) is put myself in my mama's shoes coz she is with Keisha ALONE, the WHOLE DAY..and my mom is 62years old.

I know how difficult Keisha can get, and I get frustrated with her a lot when I spend the whole day with her - and that's only on weekends. Mama is with her from Monday-Sunday..gives me a BIGGER sense of appreciation to my mama.

So I try my best to take over handling Keisha when I get back from work. I let my mama hog the TV and watch her KBS World shows at night (and causes me to have a new found addiction for Korean Dramas). And Keisha sleeps with me everynight, so yeah, I get the graveyard feeding shift. Coz as much as I need my break, my mama needs some too.

And although every morning I wake up wishing I could sleep a little longer. I drag my feet every morning getting ready for work..secretly grumbling and complaining in my head (hey..gimme a break!), I'll kiss my sleeping baby and my lovely mama before leaving for work, also secretly wishing I didn't have to go to work and spend the day with them instead.

My baby girl is not the most perfectly behaving little girl. She's naughty and difficult most of the time, now more than ever. But "Praise Him for the sunny days" she's adorable and lovable and cheeky and a joy. Must share that her favorite song right now is Colbie Caillat's 'I do' which she will sing "Atem, atem, atem" while clapping and moving from side-to-side everytime she hears the song or whenever she feels like breaking into a song herself. I don't even mind the sleepless nights sometimes especially when I get to catch her smile in her sleep, and see how peaceful she looks sleeping.

So I guess I just need to see things in different perspective, to highlight the good and accept (and manage) the hard. There will be times when I will get frustrated and feel like giving up..but that will just mean that I'm human.

That's my reality.

It's not all sunshine, blue skies and green grass. I get the occasional rain, stormy clouds and muddy fields that sometimes feels as if they last longer than most. But there will ALWAYS be a rainbow at the end of the storm!

So choose to be happy people! BUT REMEMBER that it's still okay to cry sometimes! (and the occasional complaints *wink*)

Happy Mother's Day

It was mother's day yesterday and Keisha decided to give me a very special gift..

She walked on her own for the very first time!

I couldn't ask for a more special gift than that..*fuzzy feeling* CKD has been pestering us to hold her hands as she tries to walk these past few weeks. And at the same time, I have always tried to encourage her to walk unsupported. But she always only gives me a huge cheeky grin and deliberately fall on me.

But yesterday, I tried to get her to walk on her own and SHE DID!! She followed me all over the living room laughing and grinning..walking by herself! I was ecstatic! Happy to see it with my own eyes her first steps...

She's so big now..trying to remember how tiny she used to be...sigh..

I love you Keisha! and thank you for coming into my life..thank you for all the happiness you've given me..

Silly moment with mama!

Smile baby!

Happy Mother's Day to all the mommies and mommies-to-be out there! Your child is the best gift you could ever have as a mother!

Praise Him for the Sunny Days!

I've seen a rainbow yesterday but too many storms have come and gone
Leaving a trace of not one God giving ray
Is it because my life is ten shades of gray?
I pray, all ten fade away, seldom praise him for the sunny days

- Waterfalls, TLC

I seem to be channeling negativity and pessimism a lot lately. And like the lyrics to the Waterfalls song, "Seldom praise him for the sunny days" I have been ungrateful.

I guess that has always been how I deal with things. By complaining and making excuses for myself. My wake up call came when I found out my Scheduled Waste Manager Certification has expired and I didn't get my 'Competent Person' title because I failed to submit my report. The thing that smacked me in the face was finding out that the certification course now costs RM3000 plus when it was about RM1500 when I took it 3 years ago.

I feel as if I have failed myself.

I reflected on what I have been given (material and spiritual) and I noticed that yes..I have deliberately sabotaged myself by being ungrateful, lazy and a spoiled brat.

You might think that it was just a course I failed, why make it such a big deal? The course would've been a major added value to my resume and my value as an Env. Eng. Something like a certified Safety Offficer but even more because I would've been one of the pioneers to have such certification. And I blew it. All me and nothing or no one else but MY OWN FAULT!

So I'm set to turn into a new leaf. And I have a new mantra..

"Stop wishing and start doing!"

I've applied to do my Masters and fingers crossed I'll get accepted to my chosen course and varsity and I am set at doing my very best. First class honors here I come (I'll try!)

And for my current situation, I'm gonna change my ways. I swear, I'm trying my best.

Turning 30 this year, bout time I act like one and grow up already.

My Baby is ONE!

 future pianist?

My baby turned one yesterday. How time has flown and how she has grown. From a meek little girl who does nothing but sleep throughout most of the day, she won't stay put anymore, not even for a bit. Even throws tantrum when it's nap time coz she still hasn't had enough of playtime. 

naaaww..i just love to play!

Getting clever everyday with new tricks and antics.

yoga anyone?

But she is the perfect little charmer..capturing people's heart with that cheeky smile of hers.

first trip (second actually, this was taken during the flight back home) on an aeroplane

felt like you were just born yesterday (keisha @ 1day old)

Happy birthday dear little Keisha..Soon you will no longer be little but in my heart, you will always be my little girl, my love and my life..

in front of her birthday cake - rainbow+smarties cake made with love by her Aunty Julie (who claims that Keisha is her baby sometimes..hehe!)

Pictures were taken when we were back in KL for a week last week (except for the one when she was a day old of course). She had so much fun playing with the cuzzies (and I guess the cuzzies had equally as much fun - and possibly her mak tok and wan too..hik!) I loved being back in KL, which meant I had suami around. A week flew by in a blink of an eye.

Back in Perlis now and back to the nice laid-back life, but can get lonely without suami around :( Well, at least I have the cheeky little girl with me. She hasn't started walking yet, but forcing everyone to hold her as she tries to walk as if she's an expert. Sigh..but cheeky, clever little girl...you can never get enough of CKD...

The simple life in Perlis

I took this picture while waiting at the traffic light on the way to work yesterday. The motorcyclist had just help close the door of the car that wasn't shut properly. And later proceeded to have a chat while waiting for the light to turn green.

Blissful eh? To be able to trust people around you. No worries about driving the car with the window down..

When I was in KL, I was paranoid as hell driving in town. All the stories I heard about being robbed while waiting at the lights or while waiting in the car or even while being stuck in traffic! The Modus Operandi would be the motorcyclist will smash your car window and grab your handbag that's sitting on the passenger!

And latest I heard, there's some crazy dude on a motorcycle going around splashing acid to people, targeting random ladies in cars!

You could suffocate from all the paranoia from living in KL.

But I'm not saying that EVERYONE here in Perlis are virtuous. Take my recent incident where my handbag got stolen. And there was also an incident where my groceries was ALMOST stolen while I was still shopping.

What happened was, I had paid for the diapers I bought for my daughter and later proceeded to the groceries area downstairs of the store. I put the paid diapers in the shopping cart and left it at the side of the aisle coz the cart couldn't fit through the aisle I wanted to go to. When I came back with my groceries, my cart was GONE!!!

I quickly searched the store, thank god the store wasn't that big and found my cart! Some idiot chinese lady took my cart! And I know it was deliberate coz she had already put some items she into the cart itself! When I approached her, she just sheepishly smiled and quickly left the cart! Not even an apology!! I was just relieved to get my cart back that I didn't manage to give her a piece of my mind!

Sigh..I don't even know if her kid could fit into CKD's diapers! Coz she was with her son, about 7 or 8years old. I dunno if she has a younger child but demmit woman! Why in the hell did u TRY (coz I got the cart back!) to steal my cart?!?

Interesting life and experience I've had here. Mostly it's fine here apart from being away from suami. I actually like it here, liking the fact that its a small town with quaint old shops. I still haven't fully explored this town..mainly contributed from my old big city paranoia of going out on my own (yes! I'm scared to go out alone in KL) also from the fact that CKD is going through her 'terrible two' phase early (she knows how to throw tantrums now) so she's almost impossible to handle right now.

But I could live here, and I could NOT live here too..I don't know..I still can't decide.

But what I know is, I'm going back to KL on Monday! Will be there for a week so its gonna be a week worth of food fest for me. Have already made a list of places I wanna go to suami. Hehe..can't wait!

Plus, CKD turns 1 in a 10days time! Time flies eh? Will be having a small dinner just with the family but she will have a special first birthday cake made with love by her aunty Julie! I think her aunty Julie is more excited to make the cake than CKD can even comprehend! Hehe!

So friends! I will be in KL from the 12th til the 19th! Make time to meet up!!!! See you guys soon!

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device.

More (mis)Adventures

It's flooding here in my new place. No..not my house, but the town. It's starting to get more and more challenging for me to be here now, and I am secretly questioning myself for coming here in the first place.. But before I get to showing you guys some pictures (yes!i have pictures this time!:P) of the flood condition here, lemme just recap on a few more misadventures I've had here since I last updated my blog.

We found out a couple of weeks back that the owner of the house we were supposed to rent pulled out on us. I'm not too sure on why he bailed, but a few days after he informed us of the cancellation and returned our deposit, we found out he had a new tenant willing to pay an extra RM20 for the house rent. Oh well..but 'silver lining' coming right up for this 'cloud'!

Then just last Friday, my handbag got stolen..from INSIDE the house! No, our house was not broken into. Apparently the thief found an open window (our mistake..:( ) and actually managed to pull my handbag out using some galah! ALL my important documents are gone! Including my passport and my bank books! And to make things worse, my mom's wallet was in my handbag too! But the thief was in for a surprise coz there was only about RM50 combined (mom and I) in the handbag. But I CURSE you thief!! I've been setback almost RM300 just to replace all my ID, License etc. I still haven't gotten my passport replaced so that's gonna burn a bigger hole in my pocket soon too.

And come Monday, it started to rain heavily in the evening and didn't stop the next day. Only on Wednesday did it stop raining for a bit in the evening but it already started to flood. Apparently the water from the nearby dam was released, where all 6 doors at the dam was open to relieve the dam and caused most areas in Kangar and Arau to get flooded in.

Being the Occupational Safety and Health Unit for the uni here, our office became the Control Centre for the situation. And driving a Toyota Hilux, my colleagues took full advantage of my car and we went around checking the flood situation. The worst hit is the town centre itself.

the view at the back of my office. the paddy field looks like a lake

road going into the town centre. Jalan Hospital is totally inaccessible by cars.

the town folks are actually enjoying the flood by doing some FISHING! that's the Perlis River. They are even fishing at the paddyfields. such a simple life.

road leading to the EPF Building

Pretty bad eh? And this is the area that I can still go. The main roundabout is closed to cars so I can see people going around in bicycles and a LOT of cars are damaged by this flood. As of this morning, more than 4000 people has been evacuated from their homes. Thank god my house is not affected.

Hence, the silver lining..the house that I was supposed to rent, you guessed it...VERY badly affected by the flood. I guess it's a sign that I should be strong and god has his way of telling me of where to go and what to do..Just need to see the silver lining for my stolen handbag...sigh..

But the beauty of Kangar is, even though the roads are flooded, I was only 2 minutes late for work..and didn't even try to leave earlier (yes..I'm tardy like that!) But in KL...hahah! Even when there is no flood, and I leave home an hour earlier..I can still be late 45minutes to work!!

So that's it for now. It's 12.30pm so I'm going home for lunch. Work resumes at 2.45pm. hehe..hey..I work for the government now and it's a friday..Later peeps!

*only downside, i don't look forward for the weekends much. suami's not around and there's not much to do. I like it better when its a working day! damn! I'm turning into such a nerd!!*