New Beginning

The day that was supposed to be the happiest day for me and suami took a total opposite turn. We lost our baby boy..stillborn.

Don't ask why..coz I don't know why..nor do i want to question why..

Alhamdulillah I feel that my faith is still strong. I have accepted dugaan yang Allah kasi..and now more that ever..I believe in that silver lining eventhough the cloud is so dark and grey. It has all been written..qada' and qadar..and plus Allah takkan duga hambanya lebih daripada apa yang hambanya boleh terima.

To all who came to visit..thank you..to all yang hantar sms and cuba call..pun thank you. Sorry for not replying or taking the calls. Hope you guys understand that I need this time to collect myself and get better faster. But please know that I am ok..so is suami...we're both holding up thanks to the support from family and all of you friends out there.

At the moment I am at my in-laws for my 40 days confinement. I went through normal labor so berpantang mcm biasa la..(cuak nak berak!!!!!!)..tapi TOLONGLAH! Bosan ok terbaring sepanjang masa! Nyesal skang aku..dulu zaman mude remaja punyalaaaa suka tido sampai setengah hari..skang bile MESTI duduk rumah and tido sampai lebam...aku TAK LARAT!!!

Tapi aku sangat putih sekarang...heheh (fakta takda arah tujuan!)

So ok..aku nak kembali membosankan diri..satgi kene makan. Don't worry ppl..i'm ok..Cuma satu pesan aku...IF and WHEN you do see me...please don't ask me why...unless I voluntarily give out the explanation. Sometimes asking why is not a solution....it only makes it harder to heal...focus on the future....

*Suami and I have been granted the Reset button..our son is waiting for us in heaven..paving the path towards him for us...It's time to earn that trip*

Anytime Now!

Semalam F1..suami kene pegi Sepang for the event.

Setelah seminggu menunggu..of all days..hari yang suami takdela anak aku ni nak kasi warning..Aku turun darah sikit and caused my mother-in-law to go into PANIC mode because it was only the 2 of us at home..Kakak ipar dan suami di Sepang, FIL dan driver di Kuching..heheh!

But I have to give credit to her..she managed to keep herself calm when she took me to the hospital...

I was 1.5cm dilated yesterday with weak contractions so the midwife sent me home. She said it's gonna be soon (1-2days) but there is still time. Midwife suh pi window shopping!hahaha! Jalan banyak sikit and keep calm..easier for labor nnt..

So here I am now with suami at Platinum Movie Suites at Cineleisure, The Curve. Nak pi tengok Fast and Furious 4.
*Promo: Platinum Movies suites tickets is only RM25 from sunday til thursday. Friday, Saturday and eve of Public Holiday is RM40...sila menonton movie di sini..sangat berbaloi! Kalo movie tak best, bole tido!hahah! Internet access ni pun courtesy of Platinum Movie Suites sambil suami berurut di kerusi urut Ogawa mereka..*

Ok..movie dah nak start. Aku tak beranak lagi. Sila jangan buat spekulasi. Seperti yang dinyatakan sebelum ini..SMS akan dikirim bila baby sudah dilahirkan..babai!